A Regular Girl, Celebrity Dreams.Posted: August 26, 2010
Wale. 90210. Listen to it. Yes I’m being bossy. But I’m allowed to. I’ll tell you why after you listen to the song.
Did you skip the song and scroll down to read my news? No? Liar. But I love you all anyways.
Without further ado…
I’m officially hired as a full time preschool teacher!!! (And yes, teachers get to be a bit bossy. It’s in the job description. Literally.)
Want to hear the craziest story ever?
I’d been asking my boss all summer to help me find a full time position within our company. I love what I do and the kids I get to work with, but there was no way I could support myself on the fall schedule of 20 hours a week. She kept promising me to look into things but after months of no progress, I decided on Monday that I needed to look elsewhere because the savings were only going to stretch for so long.
On Monday night, I began looking around online for some relevant openings. I sent in resumes to a handful of jobs in multiple fields, and on Tuesday morning, I woke up with an email from a director of a VPK asking me to come in and fill out an application. The site was literally 2.5 miles from my house, so on my way to work, I dropped by and started some paperwork. As she watched me fill out the application and re-reviewed my resume, she told me she thought I would be an excellent fit and asked me if I had time for an interview. Taken a bit by surprise, I checked the clock and told her I had a bit before I needed to be at my current job, and she called in the other hiring director.
Thirty minutes or so later, I walked out feeling like I’d NAILED the interview (a far different cry from this fiasco a few months ago). Four hours later, I check my phone to see a voicemail, and I duck into the bathroom at work to play it. Apparently, they loved me and immediately invited me to join their staff!!!
Cue happy jumpy squealing freak-out in which Mr. Man tells me I sounded like a chipmunk on crack.
Less than 24 hours after making the decision to look for a position, I’m hired. I couldn’t (and still hardly can) believe it.
You want to know the funny thing?
Kristie over at Lighter Portions had just written a post about setting goals (or the lack thereof) that hit me incredibly hard. She got me thinking about the fear of the unknown, which I felt was part of the reason I was dragging my butt on applying for a “real” job. Her post, though, made me step out and set a goal:
Thanks, Kristie, for not only inspiring me to set a goal and go for it, but also for the sweet words of encouragement. Ladies like you are reason #3923721 that I love the blogging world 🙂
I have a confession to make.
Even though I set my goal and put it in writing on the internet, I refused to tell anyone in real life. After I decided to look for a job, I could have asked my friends and family to wish me luck. As I sent in resumes, I could have told someone what I was doing. When I got the email to come in, part of me wanted to make a phone call to share the news. After acing the interview, I was tempted to do the same. However, it wasn’t until I was hired that I felt comfortable sharing the experience.
Simple. Fear of failure.
I’ve always been like this. Auditioning for plays in high school, heading out on first dates, I always said I didn’t want to jinx it, so I kept my plans to myself until they materialized.
If I told someone I was sending out resumes, inevitably they’d later ask how things were working out for me. Had I not gotten any responses, I’d have to deal with the shame of telling them exactly that. Had I bombed the interview, I’d have had to own my failure. When telling a story of a botched attempt, you don’t get credit for stepping outside of your comfort zone and trying. You just get pity for not quite hitting your mark. Don’t tell me that’s not the truth; I know the thought process on both ends of the spectrum.
Trying is terrifying, but not achieving is devastating. Having to face and admit your imperfections magnifies the scale even more. Letting yourself down is one thing; explaining it to others is a horse of a whole different color. I’d rather wallow in my own failure alone until I’m ready to put my brave face back on and get out there once more. Kristie’s post made me realize the same thing for goals – if I can’t establish it, I can’t go for it. Verbalizing it was scary as hell because of the inevitable risk of not being able to make it happen. Some things are out of our control – I’m talking to you, crappy economy and unstable job market – but that’s just part of life, and we can’t use it as a crutch to avoid doing everything we can control to make goals a reality.
I’m on top of the world right now. The risk paid off. (Literally. I’m no longer going to be living paycheck to paycheck, and I couldn’t be more thrilled.) The blessing of a new, full-time job couldn’t have come at a more perfect time, and I’m still giddy writing about it. The feeling of one accomplishment is more than enough to erase the pangs of previous failures.
What goal have you been mulling around in your mind for a while without actually verbalizing? Now’s the time for you to admit there’s a big dream inside of you.