Wake Up Call

Ouch.

I know many of the “healthy living” bloggers eschew the scale for various reasons. I personally own one and use it on a semi-frequent basis. I can go days without ever feeling the urge to step on it, and I’ve learned to listen more to how I feel (and how my clothing fits) than the number on a piece of metal.

That said. I stepped on it last night, and I weigh more than I’ve ever weighed in my entire life. Seeing that number brought back emotions I hadn’t felt since I was deeply entrenched in my eating disorder. I knew my pants were a bit snug, but I had no idea how much I’d gained recently.

I’ve been making excuses right and left. One cookie here, a few slices of pizza there…Just like every little healthy choice adds up, every little unhealthy choice adds up as well.

Duly noted.

Healthy choice number one: Nixing the Chinese takeout lunch in favor of a lighter, self-assembled option.

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I have a hunch that thin slices of tofu, a Roma tomato, and half of an avocado drizzled in balsamic vinaigrette along with a pile of alfalfa sprouts with salt, pepper, and honey mustard was a better idea than an oily lo mein.

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Fabulously light but with enough fat and protein for substance – four hours (and one handful of green grapes) later, I was still nicely satisfied.

Although I have a to-do list eight miles long, I’m squeezing in a short run before dinner. Health absolutely has to be a priority – that’s a non-negotiable, regardless of how much you weigh.

During my eating disorder, I frequently told myself  things like “three more pounds and we’ll start eating carbs”; “hit your next target weight and you can eat breakfast and lunch”. These ultimatums stemmed from my inability to accept that I deserved health and happiness here and now, at whatever weight.

Regardless of where you are in your journey with your weight and body image, you must remember: you deserve to treat yourself right here and now. Deprivation is not going to melt away the pounds. Weight-loss shakes aren’t going to shake anything but your sanity. If and when you decide to change your habits to lose weight, remember to do so with a sense of balance and love.

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7 Comments on “Wake Up Call”

  1. I love our honesty here, not necessarily on your blog, but with yourself. We’ve all fallen off the wagon before and become a little unhealthy, but sometimes that’s what it takes to truly fall in love with healthy eating. For instance, today I just had an enormous, non-healthy Mexican food lunch, but I feel terrible. Not because I allowed myself to eat it, but because it just physically makes me feel ill. Sometimes we need this reminders to tell us why we eat healthy in the first place. Good luck and stay motivated!

  2. Oh man, that is a terrible feeling. Stay positive! You are beautiful no matter what you weigh!

  3. Your homemade meal looks delicious, and just as satisfying as take out Chinese 🙂

  4. Krista says:

    With the direction you’re taking I think your pants with be loose again sooner rather than later! 🙂

  5. Sarah says:

    I’m in the middle of answering a similar wake-up call, too. But you know what? You’re right. We should all be taking care of our bodies NOW, whether or not they’re in ideal shape. Thanks for the reminder to honor my body..even if I’m not particularly proud of it at the moment.

  6. I get on the scale every day because I am unable to really reign in my fat-kid moments. It’s one of the few ways I can hold myself accountable.

    I like your attitude though 🙂


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