All I Want

‘Tis the season for wish lists and gifting…

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But in the last several days, I’ve learned that the thing I want the most isn’t something that can be gift wrapped.

I want to write; I want to edit; I want to create, and I want to do it for the rest of my life.

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I’ve previously explained that I feel as though I’m languishing in a job that I don’t have a passion for.

I’ve had enough.

I’ve decided that this is going to change.

I wasn’t lucky enough to discover my dream in college where resume-boosting clubs and internships were abundant. I was, however, lucky enough to choose a major that ended up being far more suited to my life and personality than I ever could have imagined.

Words have the power to teach, to explain, to transform pain into a catalyst for growth, and to exude joy. Words can be used to hurt or to praise. Words allow us to assign meaning to memories and attach emotions to experiences; they are an individual’s means of sharing your thoughts and your heart with those around you. Through words, we become more aware of what we feel.

William Wordsworth defined poetry as “emotion recollected in tranquility”. Writing allows us to go back and process once we’re able to look back with a clear head; here lessons are learned and lives are shaped.

This dawned on me last night at the gym while zoning out on lyrics.

Playing my songs is the way I cope with life” (A Day to Remember) I live, eat, breathe, and sleep music, and the reason suddenly dawned on me: lyrics are raw and relatable, and more often than not, they are a chance for the artist to say the things that should have been said in a given moment. Getting lost in music – in words – allows me to work through what I’m feeling until I’m able to act on it.

Music is like magic/there’s a certain feeling you get when you’re real.” (Eminem) With words – be it in the form of lyrics, a poem, a blog post, or a conversation, there’s always a point you’re trying to convey. With hundreds of thousands of words to be chosen from and even more ways to arrange them, the feat of getting them just right to express just what you need to say is a considerable one; when you’re able to make your point and share your heart, the feeling is inequitable.

You’ve lost your way with words/and to me/what could be worse?”  (The Starting Line) My biggest fear in life is getting to the end and regretting missed opportunities. Yes, I feel that way about experiences, but also about times when I’ve had something crucial to say but lacked the guts or the eloquence to express it. Forgetting my voice and losing my chances to say what I need to say is equally terrifying to me, and I refuse to allow that to happen.

I am focused on what I am after/the key to the next open chapter”. (Shinedown). Writing is my passion. Between writing for my classes and my blog, that has become abundantly clear to me recently. I want to be a writer or an editor, and I want it more than anything. For the first time in my life, I can say that I have a strong sense of direction and I’m bubbling over with excitement to pursue it. Despite lacking technical experience, I have all the heart and the passion in the world, and I’m going to break into a career that lets me take joy and satisfaction from my creativity; that’s a promise.

I know to keep my hopes up high and my head down low.

I know what I’m meant to do, and I know I’m going to make it happen. I’m not asking for much; in fact, it’s all I want.


10 Comments on “All I Want”

  1. I love the idea of giving a gift to yourself, something that you’ve really wanted. Nothing monetary, but a goal that you’ve been working towards or a change you have wanted to make. I am going to use the same inspiration, because my #1 goal of 2011 is to find a new job & also pursue what makes me happy 🙂 Good luck, and I hope Santa brings you what you wish for!

  2. What a beautiful post about writing…it so perfectly summarizes why I love it as well. You are such a talented writer, Faith, and with your obvious and abundant passion for writing, you will undoubtedly go far in the field. I have faith in you (terrible pun intended…can’t help myself)! Remember, even when things get tough, nothing is more important than your self-fullfillment and personal happiness, and since writing is obviously your chosen path, follow it with all your heart. 🙂

  3. Katy says:

    What a great post! Follow your passions and let them guide you! 🙂 Follow your heart!

  4. I love this, and I fully support this. It hits close to home for me to, because I am just embarking on my first year of university and I desperately want to write. It’s my dream to become a novelist, but I keep avoiding the thought because it’s not exactly an economically secure decision. I hate the fact that I am basing my choices on money, but it’s so hard not to in today’s world.

    I also love that you included Eminem in this. He is my idol 😛

  5. Weighting For 50 says:

    Great post!! Like you, I missed out on some things while I was in university, but ended up loving the facilty I chose. I’m also now in a job that does NOTHING to use my creativity or my voice, and I’ve committed to myself to do my best to NOT be there this time next year. Good luck as you move forward and follow your dream! I look forward to reading about it over the next few months. Have a good day today.

  6. Katie says:

    great post girl and follow your heart! A great 2011 awaits you! Happy Holidays! xoxo

  7. Wow, very inspiring Faith! Probably the best gift you could ever get…I need to think about what mine would be!

  8. I have the same biggest fear as you do. I don’t want to regret that I didn’t take risks, or try things, and take every opportunity.

  9. Jenn (GH) says:

    LOVE this post. It’s really profound to think of following your passions as a gift to yourself.

    “I want to create, and I want to do it for the rest of my life.” – I can relate 100%.

    I’d also like to say I think you are a talented writer. I’m not just saying that to be nice either. That’s not the way I roll. 🙂

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