All I WantPosted: December 20, 2010
‘Tis the season for wish lists and gifting…
But in the last several days, I’ve learned that the thing I want the most isn’t something that can be gift wrapped.
I want to write; I want to edit; I want to create, and I want to do it for the rest of my life.
I’ve previously explained that I feel as though I’m languishing in a job that I don’t have a passion for.
I’ve had enough.
I’ve decided that this is going to change.
I wasn’t lucky enough to discover my dream in college where resume-boosting clubs and internships were abundant. I was, however, lucky enough to choose a major that ended up being far more suited to my life and personality than I ever could have imagined.
Words have the power to teach, to explain, to transform pain into a catalyst for growth, and to exude joy. Words can be used to hurt or to praise. Words allow us to assign meaning to memories and attach emotions to experiences; they are an individual’s means of sharing your thoughts and your heart with those around you. Through words, we become more aware of what we feel.
William Wordsworth defined poetry as “emotion recollected in tranquility”. Writing allows us to go back and process once we’re able to look back with a clear head; here lessons are learned and lives are shaped.
This dawned on me last night at the gym while zoning out on lyrics.
“Playing my songs is the way I cope with life” (A Day to Remember) I live, eat, breathe, and sleep music, and the reason suddenly dawned on me: lyrics are raw and relatable, and more often than not, they are a chance for the artist to say the things that should have been said in a given moment. Getting lost in music – in words – allows me to work through what I’m feeling until I’m able to act on it.
“Music is like magic/there’s a certain feeling you get when you’re real.” (Eminem) With words – be it in the form of lyrics, a poem, a blog post, or a conversation, there’s always a point you’re trying to convey. With hundreds of thousands of words to be chosen from and even more ways to arrange them, the feat of getting them just right to express just what you need to say is a considerable one; when you’re able to make your point and share your heart, the feeling is inequitable.
“You’ve lost your way with words/and to me/what could be worse?” (The Starting Line) My biggest fear in life is getting to the end and regretting missed opportunities. Yes, I feel that way about experiences, but also about times when I’ve had something crucial to say but lacked the guts or the eloquence to express it. Forgetting my voice and losing my chances to say what I need to say is equally terrifying to me, and I refuse to allow that to happen.
“I am focused on what I am after/the key to the next open chapter”. (Shinedown). Writing is my passion. Between writing for my classes and my blog, that has become abundantly clear to me recently. I want to be a writer or an editor, and I want it more than anything. For the first time in my life, I can say that I have a strong sense of direction and I’m bubbling over with excitement to pursue it. Despite lacking technical experience, I have all the heart and the passion in the world, and I’m going to break into a career that lets me take joy and satisfaction from my creativity; that’s a promise.
I know to keep my hopes up high and my head down low.
I know what I’m meant to do, and I know I’m going to make it happen. I’m not asking for much; in fact, it’s all I want.